Lately, I’ve been contemplating different rituals that can surround the death of a pet.
Our dog Kona is nearing the end of her life. She has had a long and beautiful life, albeit with many health challenges the past few years. She is on 12 pills a day and recently has stopped eating.
And yet, despite her good life, there are so many emotions that surround this time. Guilt. Gratitude. Anticipatory Grief. Kona is the first dog I ever had (aside from a few foster pups during my 20s), and so this is the first dog I’ve had who will die.
In preparing for her death, I’ve been focusing on her legacy:
- I’ve been talking to our daughters (6 & 8) about Kona’s life while she is still here; I’m telling them about the day we first got her (our ‘Gotcha Day’) and what we knew about her life before we adopted her. I’m inviting them to share stories and memories that stand out in their mind.
- We’re slowing things down and taking our time on our walks with her, not rushing her as she sniffs and explores. I often speak about the idea of Kairos time, so I’m taking my own advice and finding moments of timelessness with Kona.
- I’ve been looking through photos from the past 12 years and making photo albums that I’ll gift the girls on the day she dies.
- I’ve been making a plan for Kona’s end of life. I’ve talked to a vet who will come to our home to help Kona die peacefully, and I’ve talked to the crematorium about what we can do with her remains.
- And, I’ve been reaching out to friends and colleagues who have been through this before.
I reached out to my new friend Dr. Jenn of Sage Paws (who lives in Ohio) and we had a beautiful chat last week. While she won’t be administering the euthasol (the drug used in euthanasia) she walked me through what the day might look like and what the process will likely entail.
I still don’t know when it will be, but I now feel so empowered to step into this space with Kona and with my family.
~ Megan Sheldon, co-founder of Be Ceremonial
How To Prepare for a Dog’s Death
Preparing for a dog’s death with ritual and ceremony can be a meaningful way to honour their life and your unique bond. Here are some ideas to consider:
- Create a Sacred Space: Designate a special place in your home where you can spend quiet time with your dog, reflecting on your memories together. You could decorate it with photos, toys, or other meaningful objects.
- Write Letters: Express your love and gratitude to your dog in written form. You can read these letters aloud to them or save them for later reflection.
- Plan a Farewell Ceremony: Decide on the type of ceremony you’d like, whether it’s a private gathering at home or a larger memorial service. Consider the elements you’d like to include, such as music, readings, or sharing stories.
At the Time of Death:
- Be Present: If possible, be with your dog during their final moments. Offer comfort and reassurance, and speak softly to them.
- Create a Peaceful Environment: Make sure the space is calm and free of distractions. Soft music or nature sounds can be soothing.
- Perform a Ritual: Light a candle, say a prayer, or simply hold your dog and express your love.
After Death:
- Honour Their Body: If you choose to keep your dog’s body at home, you can wash them gently and dress them in a favourite blanket or outfit. You may also want to consider cremation or burial.
- Hold a Memorial Service: Gather with loved ones to share memories, stories, and photos of your dog. This can be a powerful way to process your grief and celebrate your dog’s life.
- Plant a Tree or Dry Some Flowers: This can be a beautiful way to remember your dog and create a lasting memorial.
- Create a Memory Book or Scrapbook: Collect photos, letters, and other memorabilia to create a lasting tribute to your dog.
- Practice Self-Care: Allow yourself time to grieve and heal. Seek support from friends, family, or a grief counsellor.
Remember, there is no right or wrong way to grieve the loss of a pet. The most important thing is to honour your dog in a way that feels meaningful to you.
